I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
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