All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
Randomize
