so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
