The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
