Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
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