i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
