Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
Randomize
