Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
Randomize
