He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
Randomize
