forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
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