I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
Randomize
