8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
