"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
Randomize
