STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
Randomize
