none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
Randomize