...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
I wish i was in the wii world.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
Randomize
