how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
Randomize
