this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
Randomize
