is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
Randomize
