her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
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