I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
Randomize
