Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Randomize
