there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
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