I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
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