Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
