We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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