i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
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