You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
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