im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
Randomize
