he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
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