"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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