very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
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