I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Randomize
