I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
the day after is always just damage control
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
Randomize
