it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Randomize