I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Randomize
