fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Randomize
