But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
Even the bartender felt bad for me
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
