oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
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