Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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