At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
Randomize
