Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
True but thats because hes a fetus.
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
mondays should just be called national damage control day
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
Randomize
