My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
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