On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
Randomize
