Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
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