i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Randomize
