just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
Randomize
