just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
Randomize
