therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
Randomize
