you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
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