Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize
