What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
Randomize
