HIV tests are more positive than that guy
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
3 2 1 whiskey
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
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