just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Randomize
