bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
