I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
