I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
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