so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
Randomize
